I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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