we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
