is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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