they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
