What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
