using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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