I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
