some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
