I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
