turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize