you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
