im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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