Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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