I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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