I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
