literally had 100 drinks last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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