i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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