A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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