His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You ate ashes out of my bong
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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