I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
