I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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