did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Randomize
