I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
