we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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