I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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