I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have fence marks all over my body
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I want to fling myself into the sun
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
