youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
