i permit you to call me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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