I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
