Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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