Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
