i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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