Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
