i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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