were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
