im about as happy as oj after his trial
well you can't waste a boner
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
