Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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