if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
