She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
