I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I lost the right to judge tonight
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I touched a dick in church today
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
