it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
