So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
