I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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