My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize