I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize