My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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