hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
