THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
