How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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