I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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