help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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