I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
