I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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