legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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