the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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