maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
