i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
