Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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