Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
