I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
