i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
