why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
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painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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