Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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